Todd M. Durham

The past few Sundays have been soup-free and our Christmas and New Years meals were sensational yet simple. By Simple, I mean easy to prepare and often that’s best because you can fully enjoy the dining experience without being bogged down with ongoing preparations and last second details.

Menu:
12.31.11
King Crab Legs steamed, with drawn butter. miniature carrots, and mashed potatoes.

12.25.11
Christmas Ham, with all the trimmings.
Again this is simple because all that’s needed are some seasonal side dishes and the ham ready prepared from Honey Baked.

Honey Baked ham has appeared in a few posts and it might happen again on Easter and if it does I’m ordering the easter ham early. During Christmas the Honey Baked store was out of small hams, and after waiting in-line for twenty minutes, I was not about to leave ham-less and settled on a ham that would feed eight! There are just two of us so lets just say we had a lot of ham on our hands and for the next week we cooked several ham meals. Maybe I’ll cook a roast for easter.

We prepared ham & cheese omelets, pasta with ham, Hawaiian pizza, asparagus ham casserole, ham sandwiches, and when finally down to the bone, Split Pea Soup!

I had every intention of doing a soup today and ended up with a tomato sauce instead. I’m giving myself a pass because its close enough to tomato soup and we wanted spaghetti. The eighth Soup of the Sunday is spaghetti sauce.

Tomato sauce is very similar to soup and like the previous seven soups it starts with an onion. Also shallots, garlic, celery and carrots are added with olive oil and the mix is blended with vine ripened tomatoes to create a smooth flavorful purée like the lobster bisque. Fresh herbs and spices are added with red wine and brown sugar. it’s a waiting game as it simmers into the perfect topping for any pasta.

The process of cooking each sunday is more rewarding than the final product and I look forward to each week. Deciding the menu, shopping for fresh ingredients and creating something wonderfully delicious is a positive way to wrap up the weekend.

A colleague and were saying hi, when she asked how my marriage was going and when the babies were coming? On many occasions I’ve openly stated I’m not having children and neither is my wife. We are child-free by design and carefully prepared to not have children. We spend more man-hours planning not to have children than the average couple with kids spent planning their own. The truth is a high percentage of parents did not plan at all to have for their first, second, third, or fourth child. We however have read books, articles, university studies, have had countless conversations, sought council and have truly made a sound decision–child-free.

Nevertheless several people assume we’re having kids and don’t accept the fact we’re child-free, by saying we’ll come around one day and change our mind. Then the questions start coming about why we’re not having children. The questions are fun to answer and these are the most common.

Don’t you want a family? I have a family, my wife and I are a happy family, and we have parents, siblings, aunts & uncles, cousins and close friends. We have plenty of family and not having children gives us more time to spend with them. We also love animals, have had bunnies, are in the market for a cat and one day have a dog when we have more time  home to raise one.

Who will take care of you in old age? This is the most selfish reason to have children, and there’s no guaranty your children will take care of you. Let’s face it kids are a crapshoot and you might end up taking care of them longer than you thought. Especially if they have special needs, a developmental disability, birth defect, chronic illness, chemical imbalance, drug or alcohol addiction. Even a healthy adult child may be unable to take care of you due to geographic distance, job demands, their own family needs, or perhaps they simply become estranged. The bottom line is you cannot plan on children being there to take care of you and it’s not a valid reason to bring a life into the world.

Are you worried about your family name dying out? Google your name and you will see you’re not alone. I’m not of the persuasion a son is needed to carry on my legacy and besides I have three nephews, so the name will go on. As far as legacy is concerned I’ll donate money somewhere and have a brick with my name on it.

Don’t you like children? I like children. Just yesterday when shopping for tonight’s soup, a man overheard me say it’s tough cooking for just two and he instantly commented I must be ready for children. I laughed and interacted with his daughter and he noted how good I am with kids and was convinced I was ready. Both my wife and I are good with kids and it’s a shame one won’t be raised by us. This does not mean we can’t contribute positively in a Childs life as we can sponsor, mentor, or if the need strikes adopt a child in need.

What else? Being happily married and child-free allows less stress, more free time, and the ability to solely concentrate on each other which recent studies show supports a happier marriage and overall life. Oh and the money we save is great. We are spending the kid’s college fund on ourselves. It takes over $550,000 to raise a child and that’s just for the basics. The expenses for raising children are never-ending when you factor braces, college, weddings, and additional financial dependence which all add to general life stress.

It’s silly that so many people simply follow a path of having children and expect everyone to do the same thing. Just because you perceive it’s what society expects does not mean it needs to be your reality. There are now seven billion people on the planet and I’m not adding to it and am happy with my decision.

My Wife, Allison, suggested it would be fun to make soup on Sundays and I jumped on board with gusto, as I normally do with her suggestions. Making soup is smart, fun and heartwarming as soup uses up leftovers, provides quality time in the kitchen and warms the soul with goodness for days to come. Like may ideas Allison spearheads around the home this one has proven positive results from day one. It’s been five weeks which equals five soups. I’m not here to exchange soup recipes nor will I open a soup kitchen, yet am sharing the experience in hopes that you too have a Soup of the Sunday of your own.

Our first soup of the Sunday was Split Pea, made with a honey-baked ham bone leftover from a Halloween themed dinner we hosted the week before. This soup was as outstanding and I give credit to the honey baked ham bone. As far as split pea soup goes, for me the bar was Andersen’s and I can picture the windmill in Carlsbad CA, above the Flower fields. What I remember about Andersen’s split pea soup is the condiments provided at the table yet as I’m typing bacon comes to mind. So split pea it was and boy was it good. It’s easy to make with few ingredients only a bag of split peas, carrot, onion, garlic, salt/pepper, and the ingredient of all ingredients, honey-baked ham bone. Within a couple of hours it was the most tasty, sweet and savory split pea soup I had every had in my life and I couldn’t get over it. I had seconds, thirds, and couldn’t wait until the next day for that “always tastes better the next day” effect and it sure did, and the day after that it was even better until it was gone. If you make split pea soup in your lifetime I strongly urge you to think of it after your next honey-baked ham and I promise it will provide the best flavored split pea soup possible.

The next Sunday Allison suggested we make Corn & Crab chowder and she found a recipe in her stack of recipes yet it was for Corn & Shrimp chowder which brings me to an important point. Allison and I come from two different schools of cooking where she follows recipes to the letter, and I glance at about two or three various recipes and combine what I remember into my-own or completely wing it. This made it easy for us to substitute shrimp for crab and the end result was again delicious. The chopping of the onion, carrot, and potato followed by the caramelization of onions and garlic with the aroma that accompanies is what drives me to continue each week to make the next soup of the sunday.

The third soup was Beef Stew and I should take this opportunity to thank my Grandmother for giving me life lessons in the kitchen as I’d hover over her as she put the finishing touches of a meal together or made rich gravy for my Grandfather. When I cook, like most of us I think of family and that alone is worth continuing to make the Sunday soup. I also took a pointer from the movie Julie & Julia were I learned how to properly brown beef (it needs to be dry first) and the beef stew was a success as the celery, onion, carrots, and potatos along with tender beef chunks smothered in gravy tasted so good.

The fourth soup was Lobster Bisque and first I should mention that yes, I started with a live lobster. I was having trouble deciding which lobster to pick from the lobster tank so I summoned the self-proclaimed lobster woman from behind the counter and asked her ” have any of these lobsters been causing trouble this week? Let me know and if you want, I’ll take him out.” The lobster woman got a kick out of my attempt of humor and at the same time had a two pounder in mind that had picked on the rest of the guys in the tank. So lobster in hand along with shallots, carrots, tomato, celery, cream spices and cognac I headed home. I did not have cognac in my liquor cabinet and was happy the market had holiday gift packs, ya know the ones with the gift, a glass, shaker, or whatever. The point is that when your recipe calls for an ingredient you don’t have it’s ok to splurge. In this case I bought a bottle of cognac and a two-pound lobster making this soup quite expensive. Now my bar includes Hennessy VSOP, and our stomach was warmed with lobster. The lobster bisque was also better the next day and proved to be a delightful sause over pasta and shrip later in the week.

Now it’s time to make Turkey soup… .